There's truth in the opposite.

When a client sits down and says 'I'm an open book. I have no secrets.' That is a prelude to a juicy story. The closet is overflowing with skeletons, and they're about to come tumbling out. 

When a jilted lover screams 'I hate that bastard', what they really mean is 'I love that man. Why don't they treat me the way I think I should be treated.' The anger is a desperate mask for the hurt. You'll know by the quiver in their eyelids as they speak, the tightening of the lips, and a collapse around the solar plexus. (Among other signs). 

When someone says 'I'm not afraid of anything,' it means we are approaching the edge of where the fear begins. 'I'm afraid of everything, so I do whatever I can to prove to someone (or everyone) that I'm not' is probably equally true. 

'I have a high pain tolerance' translates as 'I've learned to disconnect from pain. I'm actually REALLY sensitive.' Learning to disconnect from pain means disconnecting from aliveness... after all, aliveness needs to be FELT. 

When someone says, with utter conviction, 'I am NEVER going to put myself in that position again,' the translation is... 'I'll be in that position again without a doubt.' They're pushing so hard against the pattern, the gravity toward it becomes too strong, and they'll go tumbling in at the slightest provocation, crushing through all reason and common sense. Wishful thinking is a powerful lure. 

It takes courage to explore the opposite

Regardless of what someone says with their lips, have the courage to explore the opposite. Whatever passes your lips, especially if it passes with certainty; stop yourself and wonder if the opposite is true. It usually is. If there is any sort of physical tightening, the likeliness increases. 

Dualities require over-simplification. Life is complex. There is a whole lot of beautiful gray, sprawling across the horizon. More often than not, we've arbitrarily chosen a side, based on conditioning, culture, whim, experience, or anything else. Just because we took a stand at some point, does not mean we have to remain there forever. Also, it does not mean our stand has any correlation with right or wrong; truth or fiction. 

What if every day we walked out into the world and questioned our most deeply held convictions? If we each did that, what would the world be like? If only our leaders did that, what would the world be like? 

Millions of cells die and are reborn every minute. Your body will soon be entirely new... so will theirs. The person you 'believe' to be ignorant will in some ways not even be the same person the next time you see them.  

In the spaces between convictions, the life essence flourishes and aliveness surges

Dogma kills the rapture that is living and breathing under the surface of every moment, waiting for you to set down your beliefs and dive in, heart first. 

In truth,

Steven Budden

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